Horoscope for 2011
Here then is how 2011 looks to be shaping up for you.
You guys are notorious for being unforgiving. If I were to get my predictions wrong, you’d hold it against me for eternity and a tea break.
So I’m not even going to attempt to predict what happens to you this year.
What I can say – based on planetary alignments - is that you’re not getting any younger and a year is a long time, so I reckon you could do with a break over the next 12 months.
A good cruise could be just what you need.
People like you with this star sign can be extremely unpredictable, which makes my job tough because who can possibly know what will happen next to you.
In any case, I’m wondering why you’re even reading this. How can you expect one twelfth of the population to have identical experiences to you? It makes no sense.
All I can say is that you Aquarians tend to be quite curious. You want to know what destiny has in store for you. Well one way to find out in the year ahead could be by taking a cruise on Carnival Destiny.
This is my sign. I can’t wait to read what I’m going to say next, because I too would like to know what’s going to happen to me over the coming 365 days or so.
Pisceans are highly adaptable which means that whatever occurs we will adjust to it. We’re also quite sensitive so I don’t want to say anything that might upset any of us. Already I may have said too much.
All I will say is that as a water sign, we are natural cruisers, so we need to get out there on those cruise ships and experience the world. But please don’t take that the wrong way. I’m not suggesting for one moment our lives are dull.
You have to be so careful with these bloody oversensitive Pisceans.
As I write this I see Venus transiting low across the western sky, which could be significant. It could also be an Airbus A380 bound for Gatwick. Either way that suggests travel to me.
At the same time I can see ships and water, as well as images of distant lands, but that’s probably because there’s a cruise brochure on my desk.
Leaving all that aside, I feel this could be a good time for you Arians to head for the sea. Since you’re quite competitive you need to go on a cruise none of your friends have tried.
May I suggest one of these exotic Tahitian holidays.
If you’re reading this, you’re probably Taurean - they don’t call me psychic for nothing.
Well the year ahead is looking fantastic for love and romance. But that’s just for Prince William and Kate. As for you Taureans, who knows how it will all turn out.
What I do know is that you’re patient, practical, determined, artistic and loyal. Probably a right bunch of smug gits as well.
But you’re also human and you’re inclined to be a bit self indulgent. So I wouldn’t blame you if you decided to indulge yourself next year with one of these Mediterranean cruises.
You’re the kind of person who loves a surprise. So the last thing I want to do is spoil anything for you.
I could give you a step by step account of what’s likely to unfold in the days ahead, but you wouldn’t thank me for it. It would be like telling you the winning lottery numbers for tonight’s draw, when you’d rather read them in tomorrow’s paper.
What I like about you is you’re also curious and restless, which inspires you to look for new experiences. A new experience you may want to try next year is one of these Hong Kong cruises.
This year wealth, fame and happiness could all be yours. But only if that’s what’s in your stars.
Sadly, I haven’t had time to consult them or work out the related planetary movements, so what awaits you in 2011 is frankly anybody’s guess.
Nevertheless I can tell you that you are highly tenacious, so you may well achieve all those good things, by sheer strength of character.
You also like variety, so another good thing you might want to consider is one of these cruises to India. If you’ve not been before, you’ll find it quite unlike anything you’ve previously experienced.
I believe you have psychic tendencies yourself, so there’s no point in me telling you your future, because you already know it.
As a fire sign, it’s clear to me you’re very fiery and all fired up. If I were your personal astrologer, you’d probably fire me.
What’s also clear is that you’re dramatic, ambitious and maybe a touch overbearing, but in a nice way. This makes you come across as somewhat larger than life. But even as large as you are, you're simply no match for modern cruise ships.
You might want to put that to the test by trying a Caribbean cruise on the Allure of the Seas, the largest of them all.
If you’re a typical Virgo, then you tend to worry, especially about the future. My best advice to you comes direct from Doris Day: “The future’s not ours to see. Que Sera, Sera.”
So forget the future. Let’s talk about something else.
Well I like the fact that you Virgoans tend to be gentle, humane and sincere. When I go cruising you’re the sort of person I feel at ease with and I suspect others on board feel the same.
So why not do us all a favour by stepping aboard a cruise ship in 2011. If finances are tight, you might like to consider one of these cruise deals.
I totally understand the way you feel right now.
You want to know what will happen to you in 2011. What big events will occur. What surprises are in store. What exactly do the stars have to say about your life in the months ahead.
Well how the heck should I know? I suggest you ask an astrologer.
One thing I can say is you are careful and balanced, but you also like a bit of magic in your life. A quick way to achieve that might be to sign up to a cruise on Disney Magic.
This is a time of year, I sense, when you are starting to look ahead and wonder what will happen in the coming 52 weeks.
The stars are telling me you’ve probably received a few gifts recently and maybe some messages by post from friends who haven’t been in touch in a while.
As for the future, it’s likely to be hot this summer but cold in the winter. If you go on a cruise, I can see you travelling across water. It could even be quite a large expanse of water, to be Pacific.
You Scorpios are loyal and determined, which is admirable. But worryingly you can also be intolerant, which makes me wonder how you’re going to react to this horoscope.
If you’re a typical Sagittarian, then you’re a plain speaker. And so am I.
You don’t want it sugar-coated, you want me to say it like it is. So forgive me if I don’t beat around the bush.
In 2011 stuff will happen. All kinds of stuff. Some good, some less so. There’ll be ups. There’ll be downs. You’ll win some, you’ll lose some. But please don’t hold me to any of this.
Since you Saggies are also quite daring, I think this is the year to consider a more adventurous holiday. Perhaps this East Russia cruise in May taking in Japan, China South Korea and Vladivostok.
Well that’s enough from me. A very happy and prosperous New Year to all my readers.